Mount Seymour Snow Tube Park

One of the best things about Vancouver is that you can decide to do something completely new in the morning, be there my midday, do it and be home for dinner/work/whatever in the evening. Case in point, we went to Mount Seymour the other morning to try out the Snow Tube Park.

Snow Tubes are essentially inflatable tyres that you use to propel yourself headfirst down the side of a snowy mountain. We were initially a bit nervous about the whole thing, but once we saw schoolkids racing down and yelling YOLO ('You Only Live Once' for those of you over the age of 30) we were shamed into having a go.

There were 4 tracks to take, each with charming names like Tear Jerker and Kamikaze. We started with the slowest one, which looks a bit like this:

While it doesn't look particularly fast, it does feel it, especially the first couple of times until you get used to it. You then sit on your tube and get gently pulled up the slope on a conveyer belt. Emboldened by the vaguely taunting shouts of fun from the schoolkids, I ventured onto Kamikaze and brought my camera with me. Apologies for not hitting stop in time...

There's loads more to do up on the mountain like hiking, skiing, snowboarding, tobogganing and just general sightseeing. It takes about an hour from where we are in Vancouver, but that includes waiting around for buses. From what we're seeing every little snow village has it's own unique, quirky charm and it's easy to feel like you're getting away when it's actually 'just up the mountains'.

Hidden Stanley Park: Beaver Lake

So, instead of going on about how we were stopped at US border patrol when trying to get to our connecting flight back to Canada, having to run a la Home Alone 2 through the airport to catch the flight, herself being sick for a week after we got back and me looking for work, I'm going to talk some more about Stanley Park!

I have waxed lyrical (or at least shown lots of photos) about it already but we are still getting our heads around the sheer size of the place. With a 7 mile seawall/prom/walking or cycle path around the outside of the park, it is easy not to stray into the interior of the park. However, during one particularly adventurous cycle, I went 'off road' under a bridge and down the less beaten path. EXTREEEME. This was more like cycling around the back roads at home, ducking under branches, squeezing through gaps, traversing narrow natural bridges and no smooth tarmac here! Despite not having a notion where I was heading I managed to stumble across a forest lake.

What's great about this is that it's one of the few areas in Stanley Park that is completely cut off from civilisation. You are surrounded by forestry and cannot see the high rise buildings. There are also less people around so it is more peaceful than the busy seawall loop. Luckily it has been sunny here the last couple of days so when herself got a day off we took to our bikes (well, she rented hers) and made our way into the (sort of ) wilderness. Apologies to those who want more photos, I was to busy trying not to fall off my bike.

Canadians are/were srs about Christmas lights

I say this because

1. When they do them, they do them right!
2. They only do them in a designated non denominational holiday zone that you will not stumble upon accidentally and be offended if you are not a Christian. No lights on the main streets for fear of upsetting other folks. More proof that Canadians are more politically correct than fun at times..

All photos taken in Stanley Park when it was absolutely lashing rain!

Whistler Ski Resort

Things We Learned

• Photos or videos will not prepare you for the views, which are stunning
• Do lots of research, the booking operators may assume you are not a complete beginner and newcomer to the resort (even if you tell them you are)
• On that note, you do not need Pro ski gear on your first ever ski/snowboard lesson
• If you snowboard you will fall down a lot, leaving your wrists and ass feeling sorry for themselves
• If you ski you are less likely to fall, but your legs will hurt until they go numb
• On the next morning everything will hurt. Muscles you didn't know you had will hurt.
• Snowboarding down the slope is an amazing feeling, but one you should build up to. If the instructor thinks you've done well in the morning lesson and upgrades you to a higher skill level for the afternoon session maybe reconsider going with it. (See the falling down a lot point)
• The slopes will close quite early in the afternoon and no one is allowed up after that. It does lead to...
• ...Apres, which is when everyone goes out early in the evening, eats, drinks and has the craic.
• Speaking of craic, there is an Irish bar, the Dubh Linn Gate, that allegedly was brought over piece by piece from Ireland.
• It is the most Irish bar we've been to. Though it also has a Black and Tan drink and servers wearing kilts who get annoyed if you don't order at the bar. Especially if you repeatedly order at the bar...
• The village of Whistler itself has an amazing holiday/community/positive vibe (maaan). Photos do not do it justice. It is like a European village, if purpose built for winter sports.

This is Honey Boo Boo. This is the end, my friends.

"Dear world,

We win at trash TV.

Sincerely,

'Merica"

Hockey, eh?

 This is a real photo and a genuine concern!

I haven't posted here for a while. This is for a number of interesting reasons including but not limited to work demands, having the sniffles and my laptop getting a right b*****d of a virus. Vancouver (in particular the East side where I work) is a particularly bleak place in October and November, when the sun has been replaced by a persistent rain that refuses to make the transformation into snow.

With this in mind myself, herself and a friend from home decided to check out the national sport favourite sport of all Canadians, ice hockey! ***please note, many of the terms, concepts and basic ideas of the sport are mind bottling, so I will explain as best I can with lots of 'pretty much', 'more or less' and 'or something like that'. Also, I'm told Lacrosse is the national sport of Canada.

While the NHL is currently on LOCK OUT (translation: on strike,  more or less) the WHL is still in full swing. The Vancouver Giants are (not exactly but pretty much) a feeder team for the NHL and in particular the Vancouver Canucks. This means tickets are less than 1/3 of the $100 or so price, the stadium is smaller so you can see better, the gameplay isn't quite as fast so noobs can pick it up a bit more and the spectators aren't all drunken/angry/fired up Canadian men.

The Pacific Colliseum. Again, this is a real photo, we were actually here..

The entire experience was all we expected and more. More baffling, at least. Once inside the stadium doors, we were greeted not by denim-clad, mulleted men drinking tiny beers, but by members and parents of a local kids hockey team who were fundraising. Nearby a brass band played Christmas songs beside stalls where you could buy burgers, hot dogs et al, and tiny beers (for $7.50.) By the time we got to our seats (with huge portions of food and a tiny beer) the PA system was blaring rock songs, the announcer excitedly being excited and because of the new experience, we were quite pumped up and ready to roar on our beloved Vancouver Giants.

The other team (and the rest of the 8,997 people did show up

What happened over the next 2-3 hours was exciting, confusing, funny, head-wrecking, blood-pumping and other such diverse words. I'm going to bullet point some aspects of hockey that stuck out.

• The speed and grace of the skating, which is in stark contrast to the violent hits that often rattle the glass around the rink.
• It is very exciting when seen from up close and I could definitely get into watching it as a sport.
• Unfortunately the actual minutes per night of hockey compared to the minutes of 'entertainment', stoppages, 'half' time and commercial breaks (yes, commercial breaks when gameplay is stopped mid flow, seemingly every 3 minutes or so) are enough to drive a man to another tiny beer.
• The music is played by an in-stadium DJ at every stoppage. EVERY STOPPAGE. Often the song is still playing while the game re-commences. 
• On the plus side it does allow for some fun, eg playing "What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.." directly after a fight.
• Kids have no shame and will gladly dance like Beyonce during a song, then bay for blood during a fight.
• Watching players come on and off the bench at speed is almost as entertaining as the game itself at times. I'm guessing if there's too many players on the ice it means a penalty and that leads to some scrambling.
• All players it seems are allowed control the puck with their hands, or at least pluck the puck from the air and throw it quickly to the ice.

The game was divided into three periods, in between each was entertainment including human bowling, a jeep equipped with a t-shirt firing canon, dancers (not cheerleaders, this was a very important distinction it seems) and the best craic of the night, a mini exhibition game by the local kids team. This was the most I've laughed and/or cheered at any event for a long time. Imagine 12 drunken midgets who were blindfolded and given hurleys, on Dancing on Ice, skating to the theme of 'You've Been Framed' and you're halfway there.

We were lucky enough to see both Sudden Death and a Shootout as the game was a Tie. In the end the Giants triumphed in a low scoring shootout and the 9,000 or so crowd cheered a little bit and went home. In terms of atmosphere it's no SoccerBall. But having said that, I think we'll be back.

Rainy season is here